Marriage is the unwavering commitment of two people who put their own selfish motives aside for the greater good of the couple. There are days when that is easier said than done. To me, marriage is compromise, it's loving someone despite their flaws and shortcomings, its forgiveness, it's laughing at the stupid stuff, it's letting go and picking your battles. The two things that kill a marriage: pride and not communicating. I have learned in my almost 20 years of marriage (Whaaaah??? 20 years??) is that I am happier when my husband and I are talking about the hard topics, the stuff we don't always want to talk about. Do we argue, absolutely. Do we get through it - YES and more importantly, we are stronger!! I am happier when I can put my pride aside and not hold a grudge and admit when I am being difficult. Marriage is not about who is right, it's about facing hard and trying times TOGETHER.
Yesterday was one of those days. We had a fight and for once in a loongggg time, we went to bed angry and hurt. After walking around pretty much ignoring each other for most of the morning, I finally just went to hubby and we began our discussion. We we honest and it was hard. We got through it. We're stronger because of that conversation.
I want to model a healthy relationship to my kids. Just as much as I want them to see us hugging and kissing, I want my kids to see mom and dad having disagreements and arguments. Of course, there are exceptions depending on the topic. My kids have seen and heard us fight and I know it can be scary and a little unsettling for them. We openly talk to our kids about this, telling them that it is normal for couples to fight and have disagreements. We fight, but again more importantly we make sure that they see us make up too. Marriage isn't all candle light and roses(though, of course that doesn't hurt :-)). It is about two people making a commitment to one another every day to put in the necessary effort to make their relationship work.
Love you HH!!!!
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